Monthly Archives: May 2011

Movies they make me watch. Chapter 1

For two weeks we have had two envelopes from Netflix sitting by the TV, waiting impatiently to be watched. With the little pieces of excitement lately, we really haven’t had a chance.

When Gimpy hobbled in Saturday night, (She had to get out of the house, after three days she tends to get stir crazy if she stays in one place too long.) I finally got a chance to suggest we watch them. I wasn’t sure what they were until the wife, T, opened them up; “The Expendables” and “Dinner for Schmucks.

Gimpy wanted to watch the hair ball goofy comedy. I put my foot down and said “No, we are watching Sly, Arnold and all the tough guys beating people up.”

We watched “Dinner for Schmucks.

This 2010 silly screwball comedy wasn’t really too bad. I think I remembered smiling a couple of times, at what parts I am not sure. (I try to hide the smirks and laughs when we watch these because I don’t want them to think I like them.)

Paul Rudd stars as Tim, a man wanting to rise up in the company, which means moving up to another floor. Fortunately, an opening just became available. In order to prove himself he pulls off a stunt that actually gets him noticed and invited to a dinner by his boss, Lance Fender, played by Bruce Greenwood. This is a different kind of dinner. It seems as if they collect fools. The one that brings the best fool wins a prize.

Tim’s girl Julie (Played by Stephanie Szostak – I never heard of her before, but she looked familiar and was cute so I am sure we will see her around) isn’t too fond of this idea and tells him not to do it. He agrees, but does it anyway. Of course she gets pissed, and leaves to go to a ranch owned by a crazy artist.

At first, Tim doesn’t know who he can take with him, until he runs into Barry, a timid, taxidermist with a very odd hobby. Nothing sick, I think. Steve Carell plays a very good fool, and he does it well in this one. The first time I saw him in a movie was “The Forty Year old Virgin,” and I hated that one. His attempt to recreate Maxwell Smart wasn’t too bad. Maybe someone liked it and that is why he left The Office.

Once Tim invites Barry to the Dinner of Fools, the fun begins. A little crazy, a little stupid in parts (Mind control—really!) and the dinner is a fiasco all by itself. I did see a few pieces of Jeff Dunham in there. If he was in it for more than the few shots he took – it would have been better. I would have preferred to watch a whole 90 minutes of Achmed the Terrorist then this piece of junk. But since it made me laugh and even smile once or twice – and shake my head in disgust more than that, I will give it three stars.

If they will allow me, “The Expendables” may get viewed tonight. If so, I’ll post a review Wednesday.

What crazy movies did you watch this weekend, if any at all?


“What are you doing?”

That’s what my wife texted me with yesterday as I sat in front of my computer NOT writing.

Names and businesses have been changed on this blog to protect me from unwelcome lawsuits.

The truth of the matter is, you hear about it, but for some unknown reason you never really expect it to happen to you.

I’m talking about fraud. It’s a dirty little word, and in these times I understand why it is worse.

My first experience involved an internet application where I got a lot of my music from.  (When you’re a security guard you need your music.) A few months ago someone hacked into my account and used all of my store credit. Luckily for me I use prepaid gift cards so technically I didn’t lose anything. After a week worth of emails I was finally refunded the amount. It happened again a month later and again after a week a got a refund.

Along with a letter that stated this would be the last time I would receive compensation for any further breaches of my account. Since I change passwords so much I get confused I need to say this, “Uhh….if you had better security on your site this won’t happen again!”

The bad part, I still can’t find music I want to listen too. Not to mention the fact that my mp3 player was stolen a few weeks ago (since replaced).

My most recent experience with this was last Friday. Of course I didn’t realize it until Saturday, but the exciting part happened Friday.

For reasons that shall remain secret, we were looking for my debt card Saturday night and after about 15 minutes I hopped on line and checked my account. I knew the last time I used it was Friday. Since then, someone else had their way with my card.

After I used it for frozen pizza, Friday is always pizza night but I have to buy it Friday or it will disappear. (My wife claims there is a black hole in the freezer… I think it’s someone….er, something else.)

I was positive I put it back in my wallet, or maybe not. I might have put it in my pocket and it fell out when I pulled out my phone.

The culprit must have been following pretty close because it was grabbed and used 5 miles away within forty-five minutes.

I don’t know what they bought, and I sincerely don’t think I will ever find out, but they spent $1400.00 at a major retail store. I’m thinking a large HDTV. On the way home they stopped and got gas too.

It wasn’t the fact that I was short this money, I am sure I will get it back…eventually. What raised my blood pressure so much was that a few weeks ago my wife and I were in this same store and bought some Five Hour energy shots and the cashier asked for ID, yet a cashier forgets to ID someone for $1400.00

Of course there are a lot of variables, it was probably busy since it was the Friday before Mother’s Day and all the dads that were waiting for the last minute were out.{To the mom that got a brand new HDTV: Be sure you hook it up right.} Not to mention the fact that it was Friday, I can see how someone would forget to ask. But they shouldn’t.

I discovered Monday that they also tried to use it at yet another store, but this time the transaction was denied.

After a few calls the card was canceled, a police report was written, and I waited till Monday to call the store manager.

He wasn’t too happy about it either. I did take the opportunity to tell my unemployed step son about a job opening coming there soon.

I am surprised at how all the financial Companies I work with on a monthly basis, phone, credit card companies, are being so accommodating. It’s all turning out good at this time and I learned a lesson, Keep all plastic at home.

Update on hobbies ~ WoW is coming along good, I have moved my high level characters onto one realm (Shadowsong) so they can become better acquainted and assist each other when needed.

I did break down and make another Horde on Gilneas. I had a few there once but they all caught a bug and died.

And I discovered a new game called Portal. I know it really isn’t new, but it is new to me. If you ever need a game to stretch your brain this one is it. It’s a one person shooter, which I normally don’t play, where you wake up in the Aperture Science Labs testing facility as an android. Here, you are guided along your way by GLaDOS, a friendly computer voice that just wants to bake you into a cake.

You have over 18 levels (I know there are more but this is a far as I am.) of rooms with pits of  bubbling liquid that will kill you, energy balls that may kill you without warning and maniacal machine laser turrets that only sound friendly.

But don’t worry, along the way you find two portal guns that will help you in your journey, the difficult task is figuring out where to put them. WARNING: This game is extremely addictive and should be played with caution.

On the writing front my wife has been kind enough to proofread The Set’la, it’s amazing what you miss when you rush something, and I missed a lot.

I haven’t touched The Benock Chronicles for a while – still needs a lot of research.

Sunset is still in the process also, it is getting close. The first part is here and the second half is over here.

My main project right now is writing a short story for L. M. Stull’s latest contest. It’s a tough one, but I have the first part figured out. I wrote it at work and emailed to myself, just can’t remember which email.

I guess this is long enough. Hope I didn’t break a blog rule by making it over 1000 words.

So, how is everyone else doing on your stuff?

Oh, and if you happen to click on any of my story links up there, let me know what you think.

Where were you in 1977?

You know the movie is bad when all you remember are the previews for coming attractions. I believe it was the fall of 1976; I was 19 years old, working a night job at a chili place when a high school buddy asked me if I wanted to catch a movie with him. It would of course be a matinee, no screaming monsters, err kids, and the place would not be very full.

We grabbed an overpriced drink, some popcorn, and headed into the local 5 screen movie theatre. (The place is still there, but I think they have 50 screens.)

I think there were only about ten people in there and we found seats right in the exact middle, best place to sit. We talked about your basic juvenile male stuff, girls, action movies, sports, girls, jobs and girls.

Finally, the lights dimmed, the logo for coming attractions blazed on the screen, I saw a field of stars and barely made out the now familiar logo as the voice over began: “Somewhere in space, this may all be happening right now…”

I think I froze at this point, my body shivered and I actually had goose bumps as I witnessed the teaser trailer for what was then just called “Star Wars”. Even if I didn’t recognize any star except Sir Alec Guinness.

The worst part was waiting almost nine months for its release.

Do you really need to ask?

I was there, in line, waiting on opening day with my bride to be. They barely had the room for us and we sat in the middle of the very front row. This spot just made it more awesome.

And once a month, I returned. I think I saw it about 12 times that first year, sometimes alone, sometimes with family and friends. Of course, I couldn’t wait for the sequel either. Once again I was in line, waiting for “The Empire Strikes Back.” It has been 31 years since that one came out, and once again, I saw it a dozen times, followed by “Return of The Jedi

I heard a rumor during that time that Mark Hamill, who was not a complete unknown in 77’, was contracted to appear in the last three episodes, if they were ever made. I longed for the continuation of these, and the beginning, reading my way to present and past with the books and comic books – which until about 15 years ago I had all of – and waited and waited.

When they came out on VHS (that was a tape that you put in a player and could watch the movie on your TV, very similar to DVD’s except they didn’t last as long) I bought them and proceeded to wear the tapes out, watching them as much as I could. It got to the point where I memorized the dialogue – and I still know it. (Don’t test me.)

When the next three came out – I did the same thing, but I only saw them at the theater once, and waited impatiently for the DVD’s

Lucas did a few things different when he redid the originals, but they needed to be done, except for making Han Solo shot first in the Cantina – I still have problems when I see that.

But I am happy! I have the remastered first six chapters – still waiting for the last three.

Now I even have a Blu-Ray player. But today, they announced the release of all six chapters on Blu-Ray with more extras STAR WARS: THE COMPLETE SAGA. These will be available in September (perfect timing for my birthday) but I doubt that will happen. The price will maybe be about $125.00. I have no proof of this, but that is what I am thinking.

I’m also thinking George pulled a fast one on us when he rereleased chapters 4,5 and 6. This release was soon followed by chapters 1, 2, and 3. Are 7, 8 and 9 just around the corner? It has been a little quiet at Skywalker Ranch lately.

What do you think George has up his amazing sleeve?

Where were you in 1977?

Hello, been a while – too long in fact.

My day started off fine, normal 3:15 wakeup call on the alarm, and then I spent a few hours flying around Azeroth with a snot nosed kid following me around. It is Orphan Week in Stormwind and I volunteered to take the little turd to Westfall and then to Ironforge. I couldn’t believe they opened up Old Ironforge to show off the frozen king beneath the throne. But the kid thought it was cool. After that a boat to Darnassus and then back to Stormwind for a kite and more fattening stuff. It’s bad enough I can’t stay away from it at home, but now it finds me out here as well. I can’t really say I was volunteering, since I got paid in good gold. If I have another chance, I need to get back to Shatterath City for the Darkmoon festival too. Last time I was there someone one was dancing around with a sword and almost split me open. Speaking of sword dances, I found a nice little trinket as I passed through the Badlands, a golden mug. When I rubbed it I saw an image, four dwarfs dancing around waving swords. It looked oddly familiar.

I took a second as I flew to glance around the real world. I noticed that one of my books got a review on Smashwords. It is about time! Thank you mystery reviewer for your honesty and reading my book. I never heard of John Norman or his Gor series of books until I looked him up on Wikapedia this morning, they look interesting, but honestly with all I have to do in Azeroth this week – I really don’t see me having the time to check them out.

Science Fiction is a strange genre to be sure, that is one reason it is called fiction. I’m sure you can compare every single book out there to someone else’s and to be honest I am flattered when my writing is compared to someone else’s. And one more thing, if you have seen as much horror and sci-fi as I have, something is bound to over flow. Trust me, if I would have read a canon of books (26 now I think) I would have remembered it.

Let me spend a few more hours in Azeroth….