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You have to be true to your own blood, especially if they are retired and extremely dangerous


More to themselves than anything else.

Due to circumstances that were a little out of control; my 81 year old mother is now the newest member of my immediate family. Add to that a 23 year old stepson and a 21 year old stepdaughter, not to mention the six dogs (one is moms) two ferrets, one cat and one rat, the house has become a little crowded. For some unknown reason the kids are beginning to socialize more in person, having more face to face relationships instead of through a computer monitor. And of course they all congregate at the house. All this makes for a noisy house and leaves me only one place to concentrate on writing, at work. There are still too many interruptions there to get in a decent paragraph.

My mom is alright, fairly healthy but forgetful and a little wobbly on her feet. Other than that she can take care of herself. I just dislike watching news all day long, but I know it could be worse.

Surprisingly enough she doesn’t mind watching the shows we record on the DVR, the weird ones the kids complain about.

 

 

For the past month we have been watching True Blood Season 3. Yes we are deprived and don’t have HBO, yet. My wife is a big fan of vampires and watches almost everything out there to do with vampires. Twilight doesn’t appeal to her so we never saw it. She likes the blood and gore about as much as I do. She received True Blood Season 1 for a Christmas present a few years ago and even I got thrown into the life of Sookie Stackhouse and friends. I for one enjoy the older versions of the vampire stories out there, Dracula, Nosferatu, and Anne Rice’s vampire series. (Tried her other books but really never got into them.) But True Blood is totally different.

In this HBO series vampires have come out of the closet or crypt so to speak, and now interact more with humans, only at night, and drink a synthetic mixture called true blood. In season 1 we meet Bill, a vampire that has been around for a couple hundred years. He is infatuated with Sookie – she can read minds, except for vampires. Of course they fall in lust and have a lot of sex, which this show is full of. There is almost as much sex as there is blood. The first seasons explores the realms of vampires and introduces us to a lot other eccentric characters. Sookie’s best friend Tara (spelling) her brother Jason (who is the town idiot that usually is seen having sex with someone.) The area vampire sheriff Eric, who at this time is the oldest vampire we meet. We discover that Sookie’s boss is a shape shifter and this mystery leads us into season 2. This time we have weird people that want to wipe out the vampires because they are evil. There is also some type of voodoo priestess that ends up controlling everyone’s mind, except for Sookie and some vampires. We also meet the woman (would a female vampire be a vampires?) that turned Bill and the Queen of the vampires.

 

Season 3 is a lot better than both those, which is the way it should be. We learn a few things about Bill, and what he is actually doing in Sookie’s life. And some more about Sookie’s amazing powers and what she is. (Sorry – if you’re looking for spoilers, look somewhere else.) We also meet the werewolves. Now these peaked my interest because they were not the normal holly wood version with weird special effects that make their faces distort or have mats of hair glued onto their bodies. They use actual wolfs in the making of this and the only thing they changed were the eye color. The ending of this season puts the mind in gear for Season 4, which we will see when it comes on DVD.

The entire series has a great look to it, very humorous and keeps you wanting a lot more. Considering where they went with season 4, makes you wonder what other supernatural creatures they will come up with for season 5.

 

 

 

 

Sunday we abandoned all hope and watched RED. RED (Retired and Extremely Dangerous) was a very good movie, surprises and twists everywhere with a great ending. For some reason the very last shot brought back memories of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Hmm. It might have been the music.

RED stars Bruce Willis as retired CIA agent Frank Moses. Not only is her retired, he is extremely bored. He ends up falling for a voice on the phone (been there done that), Sarah Ross – the insurance rep trying to find out why he isn’t getting his retirement checks. She is played by Mary Louise Parker. What does age have to do with love? Just kidding, he is only nine years older than her.

Within the first 10 minutes (I think it was 10) someone, actually a lot of someone’s, try to kill Frank. His first thought is the protection of Sarah so off he runs to kidnap her. Through the journey we meet the CIA agent sent out to retire Frank, William Cooper played by Karl Urban. Some of Frank’s old friends Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich (He does play a great crazy person) and Helen Mirren. Plus an old enemy – Ivan Simanov played by Brian Cox. They soon discover that there is a hit team out for all of them – now they have to find out why and who is behind it.

This movie is highly recommended by me, I enjoyed it anyway. There is lots of gun play and neat little tricks to impress any spy lover, great little splashes of humor – usually delivered effortlessly by John Malkovich.

 

If you saw these, let me know what you thought of them. Or let me know what you watched this weekend.

Movies they make me watch, part 2


My weekend went extremely slow, I think it was because my wife was dog sitting for her sister and she was gone a couple nights. You would think I would take this opportunity to edit or rewrite The Set’la. Wrong, I played World of Warcraft instead. I leveled my Mage from 40 to 60. I should have been writing.

I would like to thank the person that purchased my books last week, Thank you! I hope you enjoy the reads.

We had two movies delivered over the week, one got a little destroyed during the delivery process and we figured with the big dent in it it might ruin the player so we sent it back. “Once a Thief” with Chow Yun-Fat. A movie by John Woo can’t be too bad; we may put it back in the que later.

The one movie we did watch was Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables” from 2010. Sly directed and wrote the screen play which is your basic “attack the bad guys and kill everyone but escape without a scratch” scenario. There were a few wounds received, but nothing that left much of a mark.

As a side note, I have watched his Rambo movies and the first couple Rocky’s and I watch them for the action. As I looked through IMDB, to make sure I got all the names right, I noticed this was the eighth movie Stallone has directed. Those include the Rocky sequels and the last Rambo.

To this date, I think the best movie he was in was “Cliffhanger” – and I have watched that many times. I’m glad I didn’t go to the theater for this one.

Sly plays the leader of a group of mercenaries that do an odd job or two for unnamed organizations. (Think CIA). His sidekick in all this is Jason Statham, played with his usual tough guy perfection. (My wife told me to add that part).

Mickey Rourke plays the bartender/tattoo artist that seems to be their Old Wiseman. He fits the part.

Sly’s group of mercenaries is hired to assassinate the ruler of a small country by Bruce Willis. I believe he was in there a total of two minutes which was a little longer than Schwarzenegger’s cameo which included a bad, yet still funny, stab at Arnold’s political career. I’m thinking Bruce is a member of the CIA. In case you were wondering that was a spoiler alert – sorry for the late warning.

Sly and Jason take a trip to find out what they can about this General, played by David Zayas – I know him better as Sgt. Angel Batista from “Dexter.” (Awesome show, I missed the last few seasons and am looking forward to the DVD release.) When they arrive they meet up with a leader of the local resistance, female of course, played by Giselle Itie. They soon discover that the General is not the one they are supposed get rid of. Their target is Eric Roberts and his body guard played by Steve Austin. No…not the Six Million dollar man – the wrestler that turned actor – that should have stayed in the business of beating people up – that he does well.

This movie is packed with wrestling stars, old and new tough guys. At sixty-five Stallone is the oldest. You would think someone would tell him that his hair is supposed to be gray at that age and it is okay. I think he shot this movie in the dark more than intended so he would look good after all that plastic surgery. (Does he look in the mirror and actually say, “Damn I look good!”)

One of the most interesting parts was the appearance of Dolph Lungren who starts out as a member of Sly’s team of expert mercenaries and ends up fighting him…yet again. (Think small version of “Rocky”)

Among the heavyweights on Sly’s side is Jet Li, this time wearing steel toed shoes, (can we say dentures?), Randy Couture (never heard of him) as an explosion expert and trigger happy Terry Crews who walks around with a BFG.

Don’t mean to spoil the movie here, but I saw the outcome coming, all the bad guys die and the good guys survive. I was shocked.

Answer me this, how can you miss everyone when you are shooting automatic weapons?

All in all, it was entertaining and if you’re in the mood for a lot of action and killing and explosions I would say. “Watch this movie, only when nothing better is on.”

During my research I discovered that the sequel was thought about before the movie was released into the theaters and if it is still a thought it might be released next year. We shall see.

THE EXPENDABLES

The weekend movie list:


Okay, here we go – something new. First I will explain where this idea came from. At our house we record all our favorite shows so we can zip through the commercials as fast as possible when they come on. I usually don’t have control of the remote; it is glued to my wives hand. But once we finish the list we usually have time for more TV. We have been relaying on Netflix and their play on demand they have on the Playstation 3. Or the two movies they send me once a week. Don’t worry Mr. Egbert – your job is safe.

Our movies for the week were Cop Out and Hot Tub Time machine. I received them from Netflix and I honestly cannot figure out where they get their suggestions for me. (I think the kids have been watching stuff under my account on the play it now features.)

The first movie we watched was Hot Tub Time Machine. Okay, I like the idea of this movie, a group of college friends who have stayed together since the 80’s go to a resort where they spent one wild weekend while in college. During their stay – the hot tub shorts and they are whisked into the past. Like I said – good idea – I have always loved time travel stories…until I watched this one.

I only recognized three stars, Chevy Chase as the repair man sent from somewhere to fix the hot tub since they broke it on their trip, John Cusack as one of the college bums whose life hasn’t been all that he hoped it would be, and the guy that played Marty McFly’s dad in the Back to the Future movies, I can’t remember his name. (Crispin Glover – I looked it up) He played the one armed bell hop that has had the same job since the last time they were there. I liked his performance in this, one running gag in the film *SPOILER ALERT* is when they arrive back in time the bell hop has both his arms and there is an ever flowing gag as to when he will lose it. Like all time travel stories, they need to figure out why they are when they are and how to get back. They do this with more cussing than is needed. (Why do screen writers believe they have to use the F word so much?) Included in this trip is a son of one of them – John Cusack’s nephew – he doesn’t know who his father is, but he needs to find out before he disappears. All ends up well at the end – even better for some. I admit I did laugh a little and snicker once or twice, but I would not recommend this movie unless you are high or drunk.

COP OUT; this movie is also a complete waste of time. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as two cops who can’t seem to do their job right, a plot line that has been run down so many time you saw tire tracks on the film. I suppose Bruce is in dire need of money or he was bribed to make this film. Only he knows. As for Tracy Morgan – uh…Who? I didn’t know him at the beginning of this movie – but the wife did. I admit – sometimes I don’t pay as much attention as I should but I did notice his astounding ability to over act to Bruce’s straight man, non emotional partner. Even the movie quotes and scenes Morgan does are not as entertaining as one may think.

To fill in the empty space – which happened to be one whole day – we found Spartacus Season two, Blood and Sand. I suppose this was on the Starz network – since I remember hearing about it a little – but never really saw it. To be honest I like the movie with Kirk Douglas a lot better. I only recognized *three stars on this one, Lucy Lawless, who does an awesome job at playing Lucretia, wife of Batiatus (John Hannah from The Mummy series of movies) who owns a house of slaves in Rome and both are very cunningly devious to get what they want. The effects they used to make this look like Rome, including a nicely done Coliseum, are good. The photography reminded me a little of “300.”  I think maybe this is what they tried to do. The story line is good, a soldier is sold into slavery and ends up at the House of Batiatus and named Spartacus. All he wants to do is escape and find his wife, which for the favor of being a good little slave and not complaining about fighting in the arena, Batiatus promises to find her and bring her to him, which he does do eventually. Through lies, sex, deceit, sex, murder, sex and violence, with a little more sex, we watch as the House of Batiatus begins to crumble.

I know it is supposed to be visually impressive when you see three gallons of blood squirt out of someone’s body – but this is way too much blood for me. I admit I am not a doctor, (but I watch a lot of CSI shows) however I didn’t think the human body had that many arteries that would cause that much blood splatter. The amount of sex in this show would classify it as soft porn; they spared nothing from the camera. I know the Romans were very – hum…preoccupied with sex, but I have never seen so many orgies or sex scenes in one show or movie, unless I got it from the Hustler store. You can guarantee at least two, maybe three scenes of sex per episode. Man on man, man on woman, slave on slave, woman on woman, you name it, this show has it. (I have always wondered if they are actually doing this when they are supposed to be acting, if not, that is damn fine acting). One other thing, I got the impression that the writers tried to immolate Shakespeare since most of the dialogue, which they did have between sex takes, sounded like his play, Julius Caeser.  

*The other familiar face I thought I saw was from Season 1, which was way better than Season 2, but I think I was wrong – or the wife was. I thought I recognized her as being the female agent on Warehouse 13, but I am not sure since it does not appear in Joanne Kelly’s credit listing in IMDB, and if it aint on the net, it aint true! Or so says my step son.

Maybe the Romans did really talk like that, have wild orgies like that, I know they liked their arena fights! I wasn’t there. But let me warm up my hot tub and I will check it out.